Thursday, September 11, 2008

Poem to Mom

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. 
He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place. 

 "'Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright? 
 It's all about the laws today, the 'Children's Bill of Rights.' 
 
 It says I need not clean my room, 'don't have to cut my hair 
 No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear. 
 
 And I have freedom from religion, regardless what you say, 
 I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray. 
 
 I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose. 
 I can read & watch just what I like, get tattooed head to toe. 
 
 And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime. 
 I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind. 
 
 And don't you ever touch me, my body's for my use, 
 Not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse. 
 
 Don't preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you. 
 That's nothing more than mind control, and it's illegal too! 
 
 Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me, 
 or I'll call Child Services Division - better known as C.S.D.!'" 
 
 Mom's Reply and Thoughts 
 
 
Of course my instant instinct was to toss him out the door. 
 But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more. 
 
 I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go. 
 A smile crept upon my face, 'He's messing with a pro'. 
 
 Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store. 
 I told him, "'Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore. 
 
 I've called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't care, 
 if you wore cheap Wal-Mart shoes instead of Nike Airs. 
 
 And I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test. 
 The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best." 
 
 I said "'No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch. 
 And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch. 
 
 Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time. 
 We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine." 
 
 He asked "Can I rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?" 
 "Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car. 

 I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead. 
 The C .S.D. requires of me but a roof above your head. 
 
 Your clothing won't be trendy now, and I'll choose what we eat. 
 The allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat. 
 
 I'm selling off your jet-ski, dirt-bike & roller blades. 
 Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', it's in effect today! 
 
 Hey hot shot, are you crying? Why are you on your knees? 
 Are you asking God to help you out… instead of C.S.D..?' 

 Signed: M.O.M.
(Mean Old Mother) 


Regards,
John Jenkins
865-803-8179 cell
Gatlinburg, TN
Email: jrjenki@yahoo.com 

Hyperbole is the Best Thing Ever.

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